I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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