Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
