whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
