What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
