Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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