a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
