at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Randomize
