As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
