C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
