so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
