put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
