dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize