that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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