Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Let's paint friendship bongs
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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