? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
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