Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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