Yo dont text me then not text me
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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