I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
