Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
