i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Randomize
