Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Randomize
