Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
