I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize