Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize