Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Need sex. Gaining weight.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
