Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
