The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
