It's Friday. Sex?
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
