I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
