Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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