he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Holy sore nipples Batman
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
