Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
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