i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
