Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
