There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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