I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize