one two three fourrrrnication!
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
