areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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