there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
