apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
