Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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