he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I just threw up on my dentist
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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