is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Randomize
