Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
