1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
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