We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Randomize