He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
