She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I need to sanitize my soul.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
