We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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