i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I am naked and annoyed.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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