and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize