When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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