Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
