dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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