Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Randomize
