why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
