I think i sorta joined a cult last night
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
