at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
