Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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