Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
