I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
