hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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