Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
