I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
