omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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