she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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