I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Semen is not good for contacts.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I just want to make out with him forever
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
