I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
