You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I queefed so loud it echoed.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
