the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
